Pete

22nd December,
my first day with my 2nd hand guitar [thanks love]
i shall call him Pete.
i plan to write my progress in a lovely new notebook.
it starts now then.


*smiles*

bus ride

i had a very nice bus ride today
though it was filled to the brim with people,
and my legs were dying,
i personally like the bus driver.
i dont think he is sane, he has an interesting way of driving.
it seems that when he turns the steering wheel,
he moves his hands as though he is doing tai-chee
or making prata.
he doesnt smile much but i think he is very good with his job.
no sudden jerks and a very smooth + fast driving.
i applaud his skill of "bus driving"

and yes, i have decided to change.

pete pete pete

watch it. i feel much for this.

thoughts

Sometimes i feel like losing myself to the illusions of a good book.

more often than you like it to be, things wont ever go the way you will it to.
and its rare when you manage to fully submerge yourself in the land of dreams.
because reality just pulls you back.
and when you look around, its still the same old white, square room you were in before.
then disappointment sinks in.
but it really is up to you, let life play you or
you play your own game.

<3

haha. adorable. :)

Nice & Clean

As long as she lived,
She took all, but not give.

As the days, went by and past,
Her body starts to rust, quite fast.

All the children felt & knew,
she will live to be an old shrew.

Not once did they spare a thought,
If she could've been, nice or not.

-tiara

It has been forever since i wrote anything.
its sad that sometimes people ignore the people who needs people.
do i make sense?
i would like to look nice and clean tomorrow.
i adore you, very much hun.

honey

I wanna call the stars
Down from the sky
I wanna live a day
That never dies
I wanna change the world
Only for you
All the impossible
I wanna do. <3 ily

*dances*

you are marvelous and cuuuuuute.

ily!! (+

XD

whenever i think about that night you wrote stuff for me.
and showed me at your webcam, i start to love you more. * dances*
you're so sweet hun.

Sweeee

dont go to strangers, my darling
come to me.

fries

i keep what i feel to myself,
so is all the exhaustion that i feel alone
my fault?


"do you like being single?"


...................................................................................................

"no" she replied

feckin hell

look,
lemme get this straight to you.
i may not be your beloved nor may i be the
one that is depended on, for all your happy eternities
in ur disciplined and clean lives.
but i beg this favor to stop scrutinizing each fiber
of my being. i may have done more mistakes than you.
im not your pious fuck nor am i a selfish ignorant piece of shit
you've always believed that i am all that is wrong.
and all that is not right.
what about you stand back and look at those good things that i have done
and finally believe that i am not some fucked up person.
i am dejected beyond words
and all the shit you say just does not make me feel truckloads better
[however you happy people call it.]

^_^

i went to watch coraline with my jazz partner today. ^^
the movie was brilliant please.
(: and today is such a jazz day
i can dance all night
my scented candles are lit.
i shall enjoy this moment of peace
that i dont usually get.

rebellicious.

I am not your prized possession, your art on exhibition, the embodiment of your achievements, the personification of your devoted parenting. I am not worthy of your love, time or obligatory affection. though i would like to be, very much.




at times like this, me, feels much uselessness and extreme pathetic-ness.
No matter how much you fucking try to get through this thick skull that i possess,
i would still be this epitome of defiance.

kissing a fool

you are far, i'm never gonna be your star
you listen to people
who scared you to death and from my heart
strange that you were strong enough
to even make a start, you'll never find
a peace of mind
till you listen to your heart.

triangles

i followed the night,
can't stand the light.
when will i begin?
to live again.

outburst

the last time i remembered being

absolutely Angry or High or in a
state of massive Panic
was when i fucking realized
that i am completely and utterly
oblivious to the fact that everything
will not go as Smooth as cream.
and then id Aggressively start drawing with black ink
on The holy white notebook.
after drawing women that looks
utterly horrendous
i'd start getting so fucking depressed.
and then i realize that i really am
in a state of absolute melancholy.

oh well

how about i tell you
to stop being
elusive.
id like to date you
exclusively.

Good

we'll all lose our charms in the end.
yes?

Gone

ne me quitte pas.
i sit down here, waiting.
all i've got now
is a cigarette in my left
and my pen on the right.

Au revoir

When we met,
you were pretty,
and i was lonely.
Now,
I'm pretty lonely.

-Lemony Snicket.

T.T

Actually i am unsure

if i can stand being on the fence.
Not knowing whether i'd land left or right,
until you push me to where you want me to be.
I am not very sure
if i am willing to wait all over again.


liberate me.
id like to be free.

distance

to hurt without violence;
to cry without reason;
to leave without notice;
to love without trust.
then there is every reason for chaos.

Even those with faith will fall apart
as all they have is a broken heart.
He cannot endure the pain of losing his love,
thus, he joined the angels in the clouds above.
-tiara

i am in the worse state of mind.
and i would like, if i may, go on a holiday.

In wonderment

what's the meaning of you being so very elusive?
you wont come neither are you going.
i hate knowing you're hanging
and im hanging myself too.

tempting

kyra a.k.a ayie a.k.a khairi. a.k.a the gd friend at rp
bnyk nama la bro (too many names la..)
both he and i are tempted with temptations of sorts.
thus, we get stuck. lol, at times.
right kyra?

hmm

first you said forever
now you say we're never
am i such a fool
to be in love with you

i hope that you'll forgive me
please stay then maybe
i can prove to you
that my love, is true.

-tiara

obsessed

fuad and myself.
rp dood.
very cute hahaha.











i was fined for smoking near my school area a week ago.
another crazy thing that happened on the first week of the semester.
had to meet the dm for that. oh well oh well oh well.

.............................................................

my friend told me that people are tiring,
i suppose i couldnt agree more on that claim.
we tend to try to please everyone,
forgetting about pleasing ourselves for a change.
we end up being tired and frustrated because
you realize that its not easy to please everyone
and you end up being as un-pleased as everyone else.
After that, you just give up. (hopefully not.)

god is in the rain.

202nd

my work friends. their lovely.
hmmmm.
a lot has happened to me.

i am not sure what i am feeling right now.
i feel sad, and confused.
but there's nothing much to worry about.
i hope.

sorry

i would say i'm sorry
if i thought that i could change your mind.
But i know that this time,
i have said too much
Been too unkind.
-the cure

beloved

to bump onto a scheming persona,
is much for one to take.

what else can one do,
when one knows their life's at stake?


-tiara

er, i wrote this couplet at five a.m today.
i suppose all i can say is
a couplet is a form of a poem which consist of two sentences.
and its fun to write because there's a challenge
to put all u need to say in 2 sentences.

<3>

meow

some interesting things happened;

• i saw a rooster and a chicken by the road
• i saw a lone monkey sitting down at the park near my house

none of this happened near a forest whatsoever.lol.

gaah

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO BLOGGER I DONT EVEN FUCKING KNOW LAH
KANINA WHAT A FUCKING BAD DAY

DONT EVEN FUCKING ASK ME

Fire

A disappearance i can say,
that was never intended.

But what's there to say,
i am empty handed.

-tiara










its for that very reason that i am, figuratively speaking,
empty handed.
that is why i have not been posting much.

its not that i am losing it.
it is because i have found happiness.
wish me luck!

Lemon Chamomile

I've seen you, far away
Vaguely, i recall, you were in dismay.

Coz once a pretty, dainty young thing walked past,
You offered all, hoped everything lasts.

You took two steps back, to avoid a bad fall.
then realized she's not worth it, not worth it at all.

Now all you do is drink
hot tea,
in the hopes that someone
will set you free.

-tiara

i stumbled upon these earlier in the day
in my little notebook that i usually write in.
i wrote it quite a while ago.
hope u guys like it.

!PLUS. lemon chamomile works best with honey [its a type of tea btw.]

tea

im ill.

ive got flu.

i woke up and made myself a pot of tea.

............................................................................~

i have recently done something,

which has got links to straighforwardness and what i feel.

after experiencing an awkward feeling

and saying what ive wanted to say,

i had a brief moment of relief.

is that what all tactless people feel?

a sense of satisfaction after a moment of honesty.

i guess so.

but it leaves me worried.

................................................................

Rome

hey.
after watching something from the tv
i have decided to travel to Rome one day.

lazy sunday

on friday,
i, triumphantly managed to save my cigarrettes from ppl. not.
it didnt occur to me that i am about to get very, broke.
and now i am.
so much for splurging on cds.
among three of them that i bought
the only one that was good was Zee Avi's album.
listen to Poppy, First of the Gang to die, I am me Once More.
good.
my mum just baked brownies and i remembered promising a good friend
that id bake him some.
geez, i am a lazy person.
but i would bake him one, sooner or later.

so having two jobs is not much of a big ordeal
it has its incentives and its downsides.
i have not much of a social life, its hard for me to get into a serious relationship.
since time was never a friend of mine, spending time with special ppl is just
almost to impossible.
but i am trying.
whats worse is that i am fickle.
so we never do go anywhere, do we?

im pretty convinced that im confusing everyone around me.
so i am not sure what to say or how to react to things as well as, uhm
i dont know, do you??

also i wonder if people do read my blog.

slight change

pursed lips.

i got bangs now.

what more, what more.

feelings

i am no one

am against the sun.

life is just too much,

to be in love and such.

why'd pick a flower,

when it'll fade after the hour.

when its all gone,

you're then left all alone.

-tiara

children

ive forgotten all of young love's joy
feel like a lady
and you, my ladyboy.

deckchairs and cigarrettes

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,

but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,

gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others

luf

why is it that in such a way,
i hunger for love still,
even after I've felt love's pain.
when i feel love,
i go around looking for it so hard
trying to find it.
to experience magic again.- tiara

i remembered a line from a movie, cant remember it particularly.
but a girl said this, 'love is the closest thing we have to magic'
that is why its so very special to us.

I went to ECP's skatepark with the usual guys.
was fun, im very shagged.
very very
but it was a fun and new experience.

Life

when life seems too tired,
smile.
when your heart aches
smile.
when u've run out of everything
smile.
then look in to the mirror and say
you'll pull through.
and you will. - tiara

i feel all the horrible things one can feel.
i feel as much as the other girl.

Aching heart

See the pyramids along the Nile,
watch the sunrise on a Tropic Isle
Just remember darling all the while
you belong to me

See the marketplace in old Algiers
send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
you belong to me.

as of now, i want to smoke it all away.

Just like Heaven

show me how you do that trick,
the one that makes me scream,
the one that makes me laugh.

show me how you do it,
and i promise you ,
i'd promise that
i'd run away with you
id run away with you.

whisper

i have a secret.
but i dont think its wise for you to know yet.
i dont mind being miserable (emo seh tiara.. haha )
its matters of the heart if u really must know.
cheesy cheesy cheesy... ~~

....................................................

ive got a restless desire for something better.
a better life? a better poem? a better character? a better future?
it goes... on and on and onn.. but you wouldnt care.
because you've got your own problems,
your own life.
your own world.
your own love.
share it with me. because i feel that ive got so little.
and that you've got much more.

i cant seem to write anything anymore.
why?

huahuah

went to skate the other day.
and ive gotten myself a new name. Air Sood. (pronounced like, ar-yey so-ott). HAHAAH.
its actually in arab/malay. all i know is that air is water.. sood. im not sure. lol
wtf u guys. they found this sticker at the place we were skating
and apparently it says that.
i kinda forgot how the name became mine.
OHYAH. some idiot threw a fucking ice at me.
since ice can be linked with water...go figure.

on a more personal note,
no. nah. no today. :\

listening to: teardrops on my guitat-taylor swift

M.J

Dear Michael,
you're a legend no one can imitate. Be forever happy in heaven aite.
Da jadi muslim ade chance gi heaven la. :) hehe.
you'll be remembered forever. Peace. we love you.

You all ingat?(remember?) when we were younger, watching michael jackson while trying to imtate his OW!! and his moonwalk? and Free willy too? yeah i remember those days and man they were the good times. Bile part joget thriller sume kekek. kan? hehe.

he is one legend that is selfless and passionate. entertainment is his life and dang he's great at it.

i have twitter^^

haha G.A.E.C dooods and dudettes. <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOu-3-MiQX1VEm9ZXGAzK1hpNeU2mASdHPfNbs90avXk4HbbsC2C6tFSRve2SNlul8l7sclwxF-buFbHRT3lOxhoVORU_alADZB6pZMMXfVPBOjzXJRz7ZLyz_7DEXvqsaJXNv71qEX14/s1600-h/b8b7920711d93cb6d565a765502b5c8c.jpg">thanks to the lady named cherine, and deeyana too! ive got a twitter. lulz ^^
my profile name is tiaratequila * winks* hahaha

listening to : part of the list[ne-yo]

headaches

my very bored,very neutral, very boring smile.
remember it.
okay? i love you. ^^ ahahahahahhaahha. wtf tiara.

tgif

Thank God Its Friday. ^^

Wide .

nowadays i have been feeling nothing but restlessness, why so?
this is because i feel dejected and upset about what my mind is doing to me.
this is not good because i tend to sidetrack and be lost again.
i need to draw.

what is Jane to become,?
when what she does is nought but fun.
what does Jane do then
when her life has no plan.
-tiara

currently listening to: hush hush (p.c.d.)

linger

"its time to fly,fly away" i said.

currently listening to : penny and me by hanson

Light

school will be starting pretty soon
in less than two days
ive got a gig to attend later on in the evening and im gg to meet Sya and Didee
Fauzi too coz he'll be introducing his label made by him and his other friends called Chaos circus.
im not sure what to wear later. fuck.

My you look great with that shirt,and hat.
But why my dear, that look?Its sad.
You've got to grin or jump or fly.
To make your life, all the more
worthwhile.
-tiara

listening to : Kantoi by Zee Avi (higly recommended) ps. thanks fauzi!

A very wide smile

"monday u can fall apart
tuesday, wednesday break my heart
thursday doesnt even start.
Its friday im in love" - the cure

in an hours time itll be five in the morning
and my mum would rise
oh how she will yell when she finds me wide eyed and un-rested.
i plan to be alone~
and i feel like i am wasting my first year in rp
doing what im not interested in. fuck fuck.
fuck maths and science.
i know their important and shit.. dont start -.-

currently listening to-careless whisper by seether

Shakira

another one of those unique voices in the industry
i want to commend on her singing though, its exceptional. * smiles *
i wish to learn how to play the harmonica.
and oh, she is gorgeous here. actually i find her quite beautiful

a 'proper' post

i had an idea while working just now,
it was a funny idea that im sure some would grin at
but ive forgotten what it is. (note to self, bring some blank paper to scribble on for ideas)
and so i continued working.
while working i sang old songs.
then i thought about relationships and whether i should be in one.
i ended up being somewhat annoyed because i couldnt think of a proper decision.
i see couples coming in the outlet with happy faces.
i served them with a smile and a strained "see you again!"
My 'dreamy' eyes would then drift to the tables to see if there's any rubbish
if there were any id take a damp white cloth to clean it up.
i need to do something else apart from working. * lets out a sigh *

eye to eye

"i see a skinny little nobody,
with no past, and no future"

talk is cheap

how quiet, one person, two persons, can be?
when words from mouth is charged by fee.
-tiara

seriously though.
bye.

freeestylin'

da shizzle yo.
seriously, u got time u watch aite. good.

birthday has come and gone
had such a good time
thanks to E36D., they made my b-day into a good one.! ^^
hoorays,
to balqis for the presents.
and to my two boy buddies for the hugs and kisses

yey

my buddies. Doraemon is missing. Balqis i mean.
honestly i go to school to see them.
they make me laugh.
The guy with the Fedora and geeky specs is Fuad.
haha, baby huey lah he.
the other guy is Ayieee. the green eyed monster. elle ohh elle.
their fun to be around with. and they treat me like im a guy.
ish. but heck lah. their great.