outburst

the last time i remembered being

absolutely Angry or High or in a
state of massive Panic
was when i fucking realized
that i am completely and utterly
oblivious to the fact that everything
will not go as Smooth as cream.
and then id Aggressively start drawing with black ink
on The holy white notebook.
after drawing women that looks
utterly horrendous
i'd start getting so fucking depressed.
and then i realize that i really am
in a state of absolute melancholy.