feel

at this late hour.
my mind cant help but wander around.
if by any chance u read this, its directly for u.
i am still awaiting ur answer
or maybe to be more precise, ur reasons.
i hate to know that after all these while
i have been naive.
naive to the extent of being dissilusioned in to thinking
the impossible.
i guess im exaggerating that its impossible.
there were so many possibilities.
possibilities of scandal, forgetfullness or just plain
childishness.
i dont know wether to scream to the oblivion.
to weep at whats happened
or to just pretend.
and let time do its magic on me.
its like unraveling all ur secrets that u might have hidden away.
difficult to get and hard to endure.

sometimes when my mind abandons me
and i feel like a five year old.
i start weeping.
hoping that maybe a whimper will reach to ur heart.

u shouldnt be gone completely
when i feel so vulnerable.
i know in my heart of hearts that i still harbour
some feelings just for u.