understanding

Early in the morning she wakes and brushes her hair.

With each careful stroke all she felt was just despair.

 

For years she felt empty, her heart was made of stone.

That's because her daddy passed and left her all alone.

 

No more genuine laughter and no more tears to shed.

No more warmth and softness as she crawls on back to bed.

 

 People thinks she lost her soul, she flushed it down the loo.

They soon forget that she was human and she had feelings too.

 

- tiara aquila

a friend of mine was my complete inspiration for this and all of this is true.

what she does not know is i completely understand the emptiness she goes through.

all i can do is just talk to her, and hope all goes well.

 

wish me luck.

In deep thought again

 

Before falling asleep last night, I started thinking about things.

How life is all about the choices a person makes. 

Sometimes, we realize the choice we made was bad.

I don't like dwelling on bad choices, it depresses me.

I'm not much of an optimist either. Perhaps i'm more of a realist.

I'm not sure about that either. 

Then i realize that in order to feel better about bad choices,

I either get along with my life or i just stop thinking about it.

Its not that hard to stop thinking about something,

you just get occupied and you'd eventually forget. Eventually.

 

apart from that i've been feeling nervous.

about what, i do not know yet. I'd find out soon, perhaps.

sigh

how can someone else say all the right things at once.

i feel wonderful because i see the love light in your eyes - Eric Clapton
i dont see that light anymore.

i see someone forced to stay.

insomnia

i try very hard not to use the word insomnia because i notice that people seem to find it as though it is an extremely cool and fancy word to use and it has been overused again and again.

but then again, i can't help but to use it if it is exactly what i'm going through. it has been a week without proper sleep and my eyebags gets worse and then comes along the mood that i am in.

all my life i always try to not say things too much because i do not want to annoy people with trivial things such as how is my day and how do i feel about a certain dress or shirt i bought. the less i say, the more people might feel comfortable around me. it was not that i was actually trying to fit in, no. i like being quiet. but there are those moments when i feel like blabbering out all that i really feel about things. sometimes, being quiet and aloof can be my undoing.

people can't seem to understand how i truly feel or what im thinking of when i look at them in a certain way. what is worse, people usually think that the things i say are to be taken lightly. the problem with me is my gestures aren't what people think to be normal. they misunderstand. 

but it really is not their fault, no. its mine. i have been so detached with this world till, so it seems, i am out of touch with the communication of the people around me. 

i feel like an awkward being.

i cant even prove the love of my life how much i love him.

waiting again

www.postsecret.blogspot.com

To the person who wrote this secret, thank you, for your words are true.

Though all of us are different,

some mean, some kind.

Some unique and those who just blend into the surroundings, a wall flower.

We all need saving. 

We cannot live in this world alone, for it is not meant to be that way.

It is meant to be shared. 

Saving does not have to be something big,

It can be a small gesture, like giving a tissue to a sneezing girl.

It makes us remember, that in each of us there is a kindness.

And kindness is priceless., though you may not know it, it will go a long way.

with each day that has come to pass,

i promise that my love will last.

-Tiara Aquila

back

Your life, it was, a wee bit tragic;

because, you think, it lacked love's magic.

You did most things, all on your own;

In fact, you chose, to be alone.
.

You then met a stranger who made you laugh and smile,

they made you feel good, your heart said, "its been awhile".

And now when you look at all the pretty stars above,

you know what it feels like to finally fall in love.

                                                         - tiara aquila

it's been a few months since i said hello.

i felt nothing.

Not the puff of a cigarette,

nor the taste of alcohol in my veins.

it was as though i was looking at life but not really looking at it.

not feeling anything. 

just numb. i couldn't even write anymore.

then i met someone and things changed. funny how that happens.

the poem i wrote is not dedicated to love. 

it is dedicated to the realization that life, is not meant for sadness or loneliness.

Life is knowing that someday, you will be happy and that day, you wouldn't be alone anymore.