Mousse

magic

2012-01-03T16:59:00.003+08:00

You remember all those love stories you've heard of?

You hear about them, talk about them, sing about them, most definitely

write about them and that

deep inside you wish you had them.

Remember you got older? and that you don't believe in those things anymore.

There is no such thing as true love, or love in different types,

just a fondness of one another.

But then something changed, you meet someone.

And all the songs you hear, the poems people write,

the movies they make, it is all true.

He/She is the most amazing thing you have met in your entire life,

you fall in love and everything just falls into place.

Well, I'm in love now and I'm in love with you.

Life, and then nothing.

2011-12-14T17:41:00.000+08:00

Not seeing, blind, as they choose to see what they want.
They talk, words flowing out and not a thought was spared.

Slowly, drowning into the shadows with drunken stupor,
we crumble.
Like a burning candle.
-tiara

each person is fragile.
no matter how hard their exterior is.

the drugs, they don't seem to work anymore.

2011-12-05T16:32:00.000+08:00

i could make you happy;

but never overcome your whole heart.

-areen

maybe one day, you can forget her

and that you are mine, body and soul.

but for now, making you happy is all that i would love to do.

even if your heart is still halfway lost.

i want to be the one that put the pieces back together again.

so you will be able to live the remainder of your life;

happy. i love you.

walk

2011-11-28T16:20:00.000+08:00

There is no perfection in life but when i look at you the world becomes perfect.

It evolves and grows and i can see the movement

in your eyes when you look at me, it screams of a love that

i cannot comprehend. Fragile and beautiful.

Something that I thought i could never have, but i have it now.

With your hand holding mine, I will walk with you.

And love you.

Always.

- tiara

argh

2011-11-24T01:23:00.000+08:00

some people are so two-faced it makes me sick.

im angry, its really quite overwhelming.

i want to describe it in words but i just can't.

all i feel like saying now is FUCK and

profanities in other languages.

probably a string of them at one go.

that kind of anger.

im angry at the two faced son of a bitch at work,

angry at my phone which is not working right,

angry at home.

Angry at how lazy i feel nowadays.

Angry how people can see violence as a good thing.

are you fucking kidding me.

i'm just fucking angry.

memory

2011-10-18T04:48:00.000+08:00

" you will always remember me as the drunk girl with nice eyeliner"

nothing more nothing less.

hmm

2011-10-14T02:28:00.000+08:00

i don't have faith but i believe in other things.

i believe in fate and that there is no such thing as coincidence.

i might have met you in my life before, i might have hate or like you

or perhaps have fallen in love with you at some point of time.

i believe that all those things happen for a reason and that in some

strange way they happened because they

need to happen to become the person i am today.

you might not think i have changed for the better

but i have never felt more myself than i have ever felt in years.

to the love of my life,

i will be strong for you, now, tomorrow, forever,

always.

More about me

2011-10-10T16:41:00.000+08:00

Appearance
I have/had piercings besides the ears.
~~I want piercings besides the ears.~~
~~I have many scars.~~
~~I tan easily.~~
~~I wish my hair was a different color.~~
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
~~I have/want a tattoo.~~
~~I can be self-conscious about my appearance.~~
~~I have/had braces.~~
I have more than two piercings.

Embarrassment
~~Disney movies still make me cry.~~
~~I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.~~
~~I’ve glued my hand to something.~~
~~I’ve laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose~~
I’ve had my pants rip in public.
~~I’ve touched something sharp/hot/etc to see if it would hurt.~~

Health
~~I’ve gotten stitches.~~
I’ve broken or dislocated a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
~~I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.~~
~~I’ve had chicken pox.~~

Travel
I’ve been to Florida.
I’ve driven/ridden over 200 kilometers in one day.
~~I’ve been on a plane.~~
I’ve been to Colombia
I’ve been to Cuba.
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Ottawa
I’ve been to the Caribbean.
I’ve been to Europe.
Experiences
~~I’ve gotten lost in my city.~~
~~I’ve seen a shooting star.~~
~~I’ve wished on a shooting star.~~
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
~~I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.~~
~~I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.~~
~~I’ve slapped someone.~~
~~I’ve kissed someone underwater.~~
~~I’ve chugged something.~~
I’ve crashed a car.
~~I’ve been skiing.~~
~~I’ve been in a musical.~~
~~I’ve auditioned for something.~~
~~I’ve been on stage.~~
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
~~I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.~~
~~I’ve pranked someone.~~
~~I’ve ridden in a taxi.~~

Honesty / Crime
~~I’ve been threatened to be arrested.~~
~~I’ve broken a law.~~
~~I’ve done something I promised someone I wouldn’t.~~
~~I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.~~
~~I’ve sneaked out.~~
~~I’ve lied about my whereabouts.~~
~~I’ve cheated while playing a game.~~
~~I’ve been in a fist fight.~~
Death.
~~I’m afraid of dying.~~
~~I hate funerals.~~
I’ve seen someone/something die.
Someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide.
I have attempted suicide.
~~I’ve thought about suicide before.~~
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism
I own over 5 rap CD’s.
I’m obsessed with anime/manga.
~~I collected comic books.~~
~~I own a lot of makeup.~~
I own something from Pac Sun.
I own something from The Gap.
I own something I got on E-Bay.
I own something from Abercrombie.
~~I thrive on compliments.~~
I thrive on hate.

Random
~~I can sing lowkey~~
I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.
~~I watch the news occasionally or always.~~
~~I don’t like to kill bugs.~~
~~I sing in the shower.~~
I’m a morning person.
I’m a sports fanatic.
~~I twirl my hair.~~
~~I care about grammar.~~
I love spam.
I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
~~I bake well.~~
~~My favorite colour is either white, yellow, pink ,blue, red, black, purple, or orange.~~
I would wear pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.
~~I laugh at my own jokes.~~
~~I eat fast food weekly.~~
~~I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.~~
I can’t sleep if there’s a spider in the room.
~~I’m really ticklish.~~
I like white chocolate.
~~I bite my nails.~~
I’m good at remembering names.
I’m good at remembering dates.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
People
~~..used ask if I was anorexic/bulimic.~~
~~..called me fat.~~
~~..say I’m skinny.~~
~~..have said I’m ugly.~~
~~..have said I’m pretty.~~
~~..have spread rumors about me.~~
~~..force me to eat.~~
~~..say I eat too much.~~
~~..say I eat too little.~~
Eating
~~I’ve lost weight.~~
~~I’ve gained weight.~~
I’m at my thinnest.
~~I’m at my biggest.~~
~~I’ve lost weight and kept it off.~~
~~I’ve lost weight, but gained it back.~~
~~My weight affects my mood. A lot.~~
~~I diet.~~
I’m vegan/vegetarian.
I exercise.
I’ve fainted from exhaustion.
Family
~~I’ve sworn at my parents.~~
~~I’ve planned to run away from home before.~~
I’ve run away from home.
~~My biological parents are together.~~
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want kids. (when older)
I’ve had kids.
I’ve lost a child.
Relationships
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’m a swinger.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I have/had a friend with benefits.
~~I miss someone right now.~~
~~I have a fear of abandonment.~~
I’ve gotten divorced.
~~I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.~~
~~Someone has/had feelings for me when I didn’t have them back.~~
~~I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.~~
~~I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.~~
~~I’ve kept something from a past relationship.~~

Sexuality
~~I’m a cuddler.~~
~~I’ve been kissed in the rain.~~
~~I’ve hugged a stranger.~~
~~I’ve kissed a stranger.~~
Bad times
~~I regularly drink.~~
I can’t swallow pills
~~I can swallow numerous pills at a time without difficulty.~~
~~I’ve been diagnosed with depression at some point.~~
~~I have/had anxiety problems.~~
I shut others out when I’m upset.
I don’t have anyone to talk to when I’m upset.
I have taken/take anti-depressants.
I’ve slept an entire day before.
~~I’ve plotted revenge.~~

this is probably the most i would ever reveal myself here.

i dont think i would ever do this again.

understanding

2011-09-29T02:23:00.000+08:00

Early in the morning she wakes and brushes her hair.

With each careful stroke all she felt was just despair.

For years she felt empty, her heart was made of stone.

That's because her daddy passed and left her all alone.

No more genuine laughter and no more tears to shed.

No more warmth and softness as she crawls on back to bed.

People thinks she lost her soul, she flushed it down the loo.

They soon forget that she was human and she had feelings too.

- tiara aquila

a friend of mine was my complete inspiration for this and all of this is true.

what she does not know is i completely understand the emptiness she goes through.

all i can do is just talk to her, and hope all goes well.

wish me luck.

In deep thought again

2011-09-21T17:01:00.000+08:00

Before falling asleep last night, I started thinking about things.

How life is all about the choices a person makes.

Sometimes, we realize the choice we made was bad.

I don't like dwelling on bad choices, it depresses me.

I'm not much of an optimist either. Perhaps i'm more of a realist.

I'm not sure about that either.

Then i realize that in order to feel better about bad choices,

I either get along with my life or i just stop thinking about it.

Its not that hard to stop thinking about something,

you just get occupied and you'd eventually forget. Eventually.

apart from that i've been feeling nervous.

about what, i do not know yet. I'd find out soon, perhaps.

sigh

2011-09-14T16:28:00.000+08:00

how can someone else say all the right things at once.

2011-09-13T14:51:00.000+08:00

i feel wonderful because i see the love light in your eyes - Eric Clapton
i dont see that light anymore.

i see someone forced to stay.

insomnia

2011-08-06T06:37:00.000+08:00

i try very hard not to use the word insomnia because i notice that people seem to find it as though it is an extremely cool and fancy word to use and it has been overused again and again.

but then again, i can't help but to use it if it is exactly what i'm going through. it has been a week without proper sleep and my eyebags gets worse and then comes along the mood that i am in.

all my life i always try to not say things too much because i do not want to annoy people with trivial things such as how is my day and how do i feel about a certain dress or shirt i bought. the less i say, the more people might feel comfortable around me. it was not that i was actually trying to fit in, no. i like being quiet. but there are those moments when i feel like blabbering out all that i really feel about things. sometimes, being quiet and aloof can be my undoing.

people can't seem to understand how i truly feel or what im thinking of when i look at them in a certain way. what is worse, people usually think that the things i say are to be taken lightly. the problem with me is my gestures aren't what people think to be normal. they misunderstand.

but it really is not their fault, no. its mine. i have been so detached with this world till, so it seems, i am out of touch with the communication of the people around me.

i feel like an awkward being.

i cant even prove the love of my life how much i love him.

waiting again

2011-07-15T02:56:00.000+08:00

www.postsecret.blogspot.com

To the person who wrote this secret, thank you, for your words are true.

Though all of us are different,

some mean, some kind.

Some unique and those who just blend into the surroundings, a wall flower.

We all need saving.

We cannot live in this world alone, for it is not meant to be that way.

It is meant to be shared.

Saving does not have to be something big,

It can be a small gesture, like giving a tissue to a sneezing girl.

It makes us remember, that in each of us there is a kindness.

And kindness is priceless., though you may not know it, it will go a long way.

with each day that has come to pass,

i promise that my love will last.

-Tiara Aquila

back

2011-06-16T01:54:00.001+08:00

Your life, it was, a wee bit tragic;

because, you think, it lacked love's magic.

You did most things, all on your own;

In fact, you chose, to be alone.
.

You then met a stranger who made you laugh and smile,

they made you feel good, your heart said, "its been awhile".

And now when you look at all the pretty stars above,

you know what it feels like to finally fall in love.

- tiara aquila

it's been a few months since i said hello.

i felt nothing.

Not the puff of a cigarette,

nor the taste of alcohol in my veins.

it was as though i was looking at life but not really looking at it.

not feeling anything.

just numb. i couldn't even write anymore.

then i met someone and things changed. funny how that happens.

the poem i wrote is not dedicated to love.

it is dedicated to the realization that life, is not meant for sadness or loneliness.

Life is knowing that someday, you will be happy and that day, you wouldn't be alone anymore.

Working things out

2011-02-01T01:09:00.000+08:00

"tell them Mark Zuckerberg would do 10 hours of programming.." -The Social Network

i will use my name with confidence someday.

knowing the fact that it is actually worth something;

that having your name for persuasion would close a deal.

isn't that what everyone wants?

i know that's what i want.

beginning

2010-12-04T02:03:00.000+08:00

from beauty and the beast.

I could walk with you;

walk a mile, with you.

But there are some things, you wont let me do.

Like loving you,

or kissing you.

Or those sweet things, young lover's do. 

I walk around,

with a sad lil' frown,

thinking of ways for this love to come true.

But the sad truth is,

I'd never feel love's bliss 

for your heart was never mine to start with.

-Tiara

wishful thinking

2010-11-04T23:36:00.000+08:00


from www.postsecret.blogspot.com

A person can have many, probably hundreds of i want to's....
like,
i want to be smarter.
i want to be better than her/him.
i want to be more interesting.
i want to be beautiful.
i want to be noticed by the one i love.
i want to be perfect.
i want to be special
the list will go on and on.. it will go on forever if one never learns to stop
and ask, how can I make things better? how can i make ME work?
and how is it that everyone else seems to be having an easier time being great besides me?
we probably feel terrible about ourselves all the time.
feeling dejected beyond words, we stop believing in ourselves. we feel like nothing.
but please remember that the only thing that is stopping you from flying is
you.


me with a pretty little parrot.

i love amy. really.

2010-09-25T01:34:00.000+08:00

I am sitting here awaiting,

in my mind, I am debating.

-tiara aquila

i just got back from a trip from perth.

it was a change of scenery and people. needed some of that.

anyway, the couplet above is about the state of mind i am in now.

i sometimes fight with myself, in my mind.

keeps me on my toes i suppose.

all i can say is i await for love to come.

and i am unsure if it will come at all?

i think there is always that moment of time,

when you feel so strangely alone it sickens you.

the lost of murder

2010-09-06T04:38:00.001+08:00

it would be too much of a massive lie to tell you

that everything is great, wonderful, according to plan.

sometimes, more often than we dare to admit,
we lie.
but lying will not take the guilt away.
even if it was a white lie.
even if it were to hide the painful truth.

no matter how much we chase for free liberty of speech,

we can never seem to get it.

distraught.

2010-08-20T02:10:00.000+08:00

we're unsure of many things
life,has just too many stings.

again, you feel the pain inside

you'd want to run, to fly, to hide.

you think, you thought, you've seen it all.
but then, alas, you trip and fall.

-tiara

thats all i can say

coz' i am in dismay.

To write my book

2010-07-29T22:44:00.001+08:00

taken from www.deviantart.com

the longest hiatus i have taken in my blog,

sorry .

just so you know, im planning to write a book.

yes my very own book.

it will be poem based . its going to be called,

"One less lonely girl "

no publisher whatsoever, just creating one from scratch.

giving myself till the end of the year to finish it!

shall show progress to all of you!

here is a couplet, just for you

i would go through any pain,

just to see you smile again.

- Tiara

F-ather | F-inding myself

2010-06-22T15:00:00.002+08:00

i'm still trying to figure out how my Dad says "i love you"

i want to run,
or throw a bun at some unknown bystander.
but dear i know
that innocent blow would be another blunder.

im in it deep, just like Bo Peep.
I've lost my soul somewhere.
I tried to find my soul on time,
alas my hands are bare.

-Tiara

drifting

2010-06-12T01:21:00.000+08:00

www.postsecret.blogspot.com

everyone regrets.
right?
i regret the times when i do things without thinking
and i hurt people whom i care about.

i'm sorry

wishes

2010-05-25T01:00:00.000+08:00

got this from http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ .

i feel exactly the same way.

whenever i perform, i feel, free.

what an enormously satisfying feeling.

i went for an audition and sadly did not make it through the last round. but somehow, i will never give up my dreams. that's when i start to write again, hope you enjoy it whoever you are!

you may have failed once, or twice,

remember, life is not that nice.

you cry, you whine, you get so mad,

fret not coz' failing's not so bad.

you just need to work a wee' bit more,

coz life has much for you in store!

- Tiara Aquila

its my birthday today and i would like to

thank everyone that remembered and cared enough to wish me.

i know i don't usually say much

but i do appreciate everyone's presence in my life

and i pray that all off you have many happy days in life!

tiara and LuL

2010-05-08T02:28:00.000+08:00

this is me and LuL.
He first saw me when i was sitting down on the floor,
smoking. if i could remember correctly that day i was
depressed on something, so i was alone.
im glad he saw me.

i love that im in love with him now.
and he loves me too.

ideas/secret

2010-04-16T14:13:00.000+08:00

-taken from postsecret.com

In this mind, there is an idea.

and ideas are bulletproof.

this phrase is taken from V for Vendetta.
 i do not know how many people would agree with this statement, 
but i think that it is an apt statement when someone believes in something.
ideas would never die, hope could never be gone if we choose it.
faith would never be lost if we never stop believing.
the statement is something i live by, whenever i remember it,
i feel liberated.
thus, i share it with you just in the hopes of you being liberated too. 

ticking

2010-04-05T06:48:00.000+08:00

hello. March has passed
and i scarcely notice it went by.
a couple of months ago i said i wanted to do something different.
so, i went to catch a movie all by myself.

i know its not such a big deal.
it was a bit nerve wrecking and awkward.
i was also horrified when the movie i went to watch,
had gore in it and i almost went out halfway.
it felt really different and i think id like to do something different again.

i miss my friends.all of them.

Back

2010-03-14T03:44:00.000+08:00

hello everyone. it has been quite a while since i wrote anything new here. in my mind, i am dancing with much glee, noting that quite a number of you appreciate what i wrote before this post.

its 3.11 a.m in the morning and here i am again,
feeling this adrenaline rush to write about individuality.

here it goes.

You may be different in one place,
dont let yourself feel so much disgrace.

your character, is like a gem,
it makes you,you. dont change for them.

a Diamond in the rough , you are.

fret not, you are the brightest star.

                               - tiara

i write about this coz' people have always told me that i am aloof and different.

i think people, some people, don't really like those who stand out.  
and they do not seem to like inconsistency, even in character.
i don't really care about them anymore.

i know that you, in some part of your life have felt like u could never belong.
but, it's really okay,  somewhere, someone will understand you. 

Be Right Back.

2010-02-19T04:09:00.000+08:00

i had an inspiration on what to write about.
it came around 3.15 in the morning,funny how my mind starts working at this hour.
its about how, one shouldn't despair when your lover, mother, father, sister, bestfriend is away or is gone.
somehow, their still there. always.
here it goes,

When the light that shone, has gone,
you would feel you're all alone.

there is nothing much to fear,
Coz' you're brave enough my dear.

In you're heart you'd feel the light,
it will guide you through the night.

and you'd feel that love once more
the love from someone you adore.

-tiara

i am pretty happy with this one.
i hope you like it, whoever you are.

Get on My horse

2010-02-11T00:07:00.000+08:00

hi. i have spent hours sitting here, staring at Amy's picture.
wondering what to write about.

No words comes out my head;

even now i feel much dread.

the words i think was lost, in time.

their all worth more than just a dime.

thinking much around this hour,

even the milk i got went sour.

-tiara

 thanks fauzi. haha. my friend told me to write how frustrated i am that i can't seem to have any inspiration. i hope it doesn't sound as ridiculous as i feel it is. but it was fun writing it anyways.

puppets

2010-02-05T14:40:00.000+08:00

hello.

my life is currently monotonous

except the part where love brightens up my day

each time i meet him.

i am pleased to see the amount of followers my blog has accumulated.
its sort of a celebration in my head.
the last day of school, my sister is graduating.
she cried the other day coz she claims she will miss her friends.
i suppose they'd meet each other again in the near future.
........................

i desire to feel a strong emotion but i cant seem to feel it.
its like i want to do skydiving, or fly a plane.
i want an adrenaline rush, or deep sadness for something.
i want something to happen.
i think my adventure senses are tingling, i suppose everyone feels it from time to time.
but i wonder whats the craziest thing any of you had done.

beauty

2010-01-26T10:19:00.000+08:00

hello beautiful.

everyone knows creep by radiohead.

right?
was listening to it this morning
and a rush of nostalgia came over me.
i remember i used to feel that i am not as special as i desire to be.
i think everyone feels the same way too.
but the thing I've found out, this may sound as cheesy as it can be,
is that everyone is special. it depends on how you look at yourself in the mirror.

"I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in pain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand"

-Sting

Holding hands

2010-01-11T12:57:00.000+08:00

hello. sorry for being absent for awhile.
i have been busy.

i just did some animation.
i think i kind of like it.
though halfway through,
i had the most strongest desire,
to tear my hair out.
sometimes, i wonder if i would rather become
a housewife,
worrying about whats for dinner
or being an animator,
worrying about handing in projects on time.

i love you more each day..

P.S for guys and girls out there. visit http://chscrcs.blogspot.com/ for awesome shirts!!

new year

2010-01-03T01:01:00.000+08:00

its a new, year.

happy new year to you,
yes you.

i have a short list,
one that shouldn't be missed.

This list is a friend,
for those in the bend.

for those, who aren't leading their lives straight
for those, who seems to always be late.

a list that would, turn you anew,
a list i made, just for you.
- tiara.

somehow i know that people usually make lists of resolutions on the start of a fresh year.
its either written or in their minds.
i usually have resolutions in my mind. but it never works im afraid.
i have decided to write them all in a list.
the most basic thing, a checklist.
and may i have all the luck i could conjure to achieve them.
and may you have all the luck too.

Pete

2009-12-23T23:53:00.000+08:00

22nd December,
my first day with my 2nd hand guitar [thanks love]
i shall call him Pete.
i plan to write my progress in a lovely new notebook.
it starts now then.

*smiles*

bus ride

2009-12-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

i had a very nice bus ride today
though it was filled to the brim with people,
and my legs were dying,
i personally like the bus driver.
i dont think he is sane, he has an interesting way of driving.
it seems that when he turns the steering wheel,
he moves his hands as though he is doing tai-chee
or making prata.
he doesnt smile much but i think he is very good with his job.
no sudden jerks and a very smooth + fast driving.
i applaud his skill of "bus driving"

and yes, i have decided to change.

pete pete pete

2009-12-11T13:59:00.000+08:00

watch it. i feel much for this.

thoughts

2009-12-10T11:32:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i feel like losing myself to the illusions of a good book.

more often than you like it to be, things wont ever go the way you will it to.
and its rare when you manage to fully submerge yourself in the land of dreams.
because reality just pulls you back.
and when you look around, its still the same old white, square room you were in before.
then disappointment sinks in.
but it really is up to you, let life play you or
you play your own game.

<3

2009-12-07T23:55:00.000+08:00

haha. adorable. :)

Nice & Clean

2009-12-04T00:20:00.000+08:00

As long as she lived,
She took all, but not give.

As the days, went by and past,
Her body starts to rust, quite fast.

All the children felt & knew,
she will live to be an old shrew.

Not once did they spare a thought,
If she could've been, nice or not.

-tiara

It has been forever since i wrote anything.
its sad that sometimes people ignore the people who needs people.
do i make sense?
i would like to look nice and clean tomorrow.
i adore you, very much hun.

honey

2009-12-01T22:06:00.000+08:00

I wanna call the stars
Down from the sky
I wanna live a day
That never dies
I wanna change the world
Only for you
All the impossible
I wanna do. <3 ily

dances

2009-12-01T14:00:00.000+08:00

you are marvelous and cuuuuuute.

ily!! (+

XD

2009-11-28T00:51:00.000+08:00

whenever i think about that night you wrote stuff for me.
and showed me at your webcam, i start to love you more. * dances*
you're so sweet hun.

Sweeee

2009-11-24T21:16:00.000+08:00

dont go to strangers, my darling
come to me.

fries

2009-11-19T13:31:00.000+08:00

i keep what i feel to myself,
so is all the exhaustion that i feel alone
my fault?

"do you like being single?"

...................................................................................................

"no" she replied

feckin hell

2009-11-18T13:19:00.000+08:00

look,
lemme get this straight to you.
i may not be your beloved nor may i be the
one that is depended on, for all your happy eternities
in ur disciplined and clean lives.
but i beg this favor to stop scrutinizing each fiber
of my being. i may have done more mistakes than you.
im not your pious fuck nor am i a selfish ignorant piece of shit
you've always believed that i am all that is wrong.
and all that is not right.
what about you stand back and look at those good things that i have done
and finally believe that i am not some fucked up person.
i am dejected beyond words
and all the shit you say just does not make me feel truckloads better
[however you happy people call it.]

^_^

2009-11-17T23:11:00.000+08:00

i went to watch coraline with my jazz partner today. ^^
the movie was brilliant please.
(: and today is such a jazz day
i can dance all night
my scented candles are lit.
i shall enjoy this moment of peace
that i dont usually get.

rebellicious.

2009-11-12T10:43:00.000+08:00

I am not your prized possession, your art on exhibition, the embodiment of your achievements, the personification of your devoted parenting. I am not worthy of your love, time or obligatory affection. though i would like to be, very much.

at times like this, me, feels much uselessness and extreme pathetic-ness.
No matter how much you fucking try to get through this thick skull that i possess,
i would still be this epitome of defiance.

kissing a fool

2009-11-10T13:36:00.000+08:00

you are far, i'm never gonna be your star
you listen to people
who scared you to death and from my heart
strange that you were strong enough
to even make a start, you'll never find
a peace of mind
till you listen to your heart.

triangles

2009-11-05T23:58:00.000+08:00

i followed the night,
can't stand the light.
when will i begin?
to live again.

outburst

2009-11-05T11:05:00.000+08:00

the last time i remembered being

absolutely Angry or High or in a
state of massive Panic
was when i fucking realized
that i am completely and utterly
oblivious to the fact that everything
will not go as Smooth as cream.
and then id Aggressively start drawing with black ink
on The holy white notebook.
after drawing women that looks
utterly horrendous
i'd start getting so fucking depressed.
and then i realize that i really am
in a state of absolute melancholy.

oh well

2009-11-04T22:52:00.000+08:00

how about i tell you
to stop being
elusive.
id like to date you
exclusively.

Good

2009-11-03T23:56:00.000+08:00

we'll all lose our charms in the end.
yes?

Gone

2009-11-03T00:50:00.000+08:00

ne me quitte pas.
i sit down here, waiting.
all i've got now
is a cigarette in my left
and my pen on the right.

Au revoir

2009-10-29T22:11:00.000+08:00

When we met,
you were pretty,
and i was lonely.
Now,
I'm pretty lonely.

-Lemony Snicket.

T.T

2009-10-27T20:17:00.000+08:00

Actually i am unsure

if i can stand being on the fence.
Not knowing whether i'd land left or right,
until you push me to where you want me to be.
I am not very sure
if i am willing to wait all over again.

liberate me.
id like to be free.

distance

2009-10-27T00:16:00.000+08:00

to hurt without violence;
to cry without reason;
to leave without notice;
to love without trust.
then there is every reason for chaos.

Even those with faith will fall apart
as all they have is a broken heart.
He cannot endure the pain of losing his love,
thus, he joined the angels in the clouds above.
-tiara

i am in the worse state of mind.
and i would like, if i may, go on a holiday.

In wonderment

2009-10-26T10:56:00.000+08:00

what's the meaning of you being so very elusive?
you wont come neither are you going.
i hate knowing you're hanging
and im hanging myself too.

tempting

2009-10-21T23:20:00.000+08:00

kyra a.k.a ayie a.k.a khairi. a.k.a the gd friend at rp
bnyk nama la bro (too many names la..)
both he and i are tempted with temptations of sorts.
thus, we get stuck. lol, at times.
right kyra?

hmm

2009-10-16T19:56:00.000+08:00

first you said forever
now you say we're never
am i such a fool
to be in love with you

i hope that you'll forgive me
please stay then maybe
i can prove to you
that my love, is true.

-tiara

obsessed

2009-10-16T14:33:00.000+08:00

fuad and myself.
rp dood.
very cute hahaha.

i was fined for smoking near my school area a week ago.
another crazy thing that happened on the first week of the semester.
had to meet the dm for that. oh well oh well oh well.

.............................................................

my friend told me that people are tiring,
i suppose i couldnt agree more on that claim.
we tend to try to please everyone,
forgetting about pleasing ourselves for a change.
we end up being tired and frustrated because
you realize that its not easy to please everyone
and you end up being as un-pleased as everyone else.
After that, you just give up. (hopefully not.)

god is in the rain.

202nd

2009-10-12T23:09:00.001+08:00

my work friends. their lovely.
hmmmm.
a lot has happened to me.

i am not sure what i am feeling right now.
i feel sad, and confused.
but there's nothing much to worry about.
i hope.

sorry

2009-10-10T02:06:00.000+08:00

i would say i'm sorry
if i thought that i could change your mind.
But i know that this time,
i have said too much
Been too unkind.
-the cure

beloved

2009-09-13T04:58:00.000+08:00

to bump onto a scheming persona,
is much for one to take.

what else can one do,
when one knows their life's at stake?

-tiara

er, i wrote this couplet at five a.m today.
i suppose all i can say is
a couplet is a form of a poem which consist of two sentences.
and its fun to write because there's a challenge
to put all u need to say in 2 sentences.

<3>

meow

2009-09-13T02:17:00.000+08:00

some interesting things happened;

i saw a rooster and a chicken by the road
i saw a lone monkey sitting down at the park near my house

none of this happened near a forest whatsoever.lol.

gaah

2009-09-08T17:07:00.000+08:00

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO BLOGGER I DONT EVEN FUCKING KNOW LAH
KANINA WHAT A FUCKING BAD DAY

DONT EVEN FUCKING ASK ME

Fire

2009-08-28T00:36:00.000+08:00

A disappearance i can say,
that was never intended.

But what's there to say,
i am empty handed.

-tiara

its for that very reason that i am, figuratively speaking,
empty handed.
that is why i have not been posting much.

its not that i am losing it.
it is because i have found happiness.
wish me luck!

Lemon Chamomile

2009-08-09T22:23:00.000+08:00

I've seen you, far away
Vaguely, i recall, you were in dismay.

Coz once a pretty, dainty young thing walked past,
You offered all, hoped everything lasts.

You took two steps back, to avoid a bad fall.
then realized she's not worth it, not worth it at all.

Now all you do is drink
hot tea,
in the hopes that someone
will set you free.

-tiara

i stumbled upon these earlier in the day
in my little notebook that i usually write in.
i wrote it quite a while ago.
hope u guys like it.

!PLUS. lemon chamomile works best with honey [its a type of tea btw.]

tea

2009-08-08T17:50:00.000+08:00

im ill.

ive got flu.

i woke up and made myself a pot of tea.

............................................................................~

i have recently done something,

which has got links to straighforwardness and what i feel.

after experiencing an awkward feeling

and saying what ive wanted to say,

i had a brief moment of relief.

is that what all tactless people feel?

a sense of satisfaction after a moment of honesty.

i guess so.

but it leaves me worried.

................................................................

Rome

2009-08-06T01:15:00.000+08:00

hey.
after watching something from the tv
i have decided to travel to Rome one day.

lazy sunday

2009-08-02T17:11:00.000+08:00

on friday,
i, triumphantly managed to save my cigarrettes from ppl. not.
it didnt occur to me that i am about to get very, broke.
and now i am.
so much for splurging on cds.
among three of them that i bought
the only one that was good was Zee Avi's album.
listen to Poppy, First of the Gang to die, I am me Once More.
good.
my mum just baked brownies and i remembered promising a good friend
that id bake him some.
geez, i am a lazy person.
but i would bake him one, sooner or later.

so having two jobs is not much of a big ordeal
it has its incentives and its downsides.
i have not much of a social life, its hard for me to get into a serious relationship.
since time was never a friend of mine, spending time with special ppl is just
almost to impossible.
but i am trying.
whats worse is that i am fickle.
so we never do go anywhere, do we?

im pretty convinced that im confusing everyone around me.
so i am not sure what to say or how to react to things as well as, uhm
i dont know, do you??

also i wonder if people do read my blog.

slight change

2009-07-28T11:18:00.000+08:00

pursed lips.

i got bangs now.

what more, what more.

feelings

2009-07-27T10:52:00.000+08:00

i am no one

am against the sun.

life is just too much,

to be in love and such.

why'd pick a flower,

when it'll fade after the hour.

when its all gone,

you're then left all alone.

-tiara

children

2009-07-16T13:21:00.000+08:00

ive forgotten all of young love's joy
feel like a lady
and you, my ladyboy.

deckchairs and cigarrettes

2009-07-14T21:12:00.000+08:00

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,

but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,

gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others

luf

2009-07-09T19:15:00.000+08:00

why is it that in such a way,
i hunger for love still,
even after I've felt love's pain.
when i feel love,
i go around looking for it so hard
trying to find it.
to experience magic again.- tiara

i remembered a line from a movie, cant remember it particularly.
but a girl said this, 'love is the closest thing we have to magic'
that is why its so very special to us.

I went to ECP's skatepark with the usual guys.
was fun, im very shagged.
very very
but it was a fun and new experience.

Life

2009-07-08T23:35:00.000+08:00

when life seems too tired,
smile.
when your heart aches
smile.
when u've run out of everything
smile.
then look in to the mirror and say
you'll pull through.
and you will. - tiara

i feel all the horrible things one can feel.
i feel as much as the other girl.

Aching heart

2009-07-08T13:29:00.000+08:00

See the pyramids along the Nile,
watch the sunrise on a Tropic Isle
Just remember darling all the while
you belong to me

See the marketplace in old Algiers
send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
you belong to me.

as of now, i want to smoke it all away.

Just like Heaven

2009-07-07T19:32:00.000+08:00

show me how you do that trick,
the one that makes me scream,
the one that makes me laugh.

show me how you do it,
and i promise you ,
i'd promise that
i'd run away with you
id run away with you.

whisper

2009-07-01T15:20:00.000+08:00

i have a secret.
but i dont think its wise for you to know yet.
i dont mind being miserable (emo seh tiara.. haha )
its matters of the heart if u really must know.
cheesy cheesy cheesy... ~~

....................................................

ive got a restless desire for something better.
a better life? a better poem? a better character? a better future?
it goes... on and on and onn.. but you wouldnt care.
because you've got your own problems,
your own life.
your own world.
your own love.
share it with me. because i feel that ive got so little.
and that you've got much more.

i cant seem to write anything anymore.
why?

huahuah

2009-06-27T22:45:00.000+08:00

went to skate the other day.
and ive gotten myself a new name. Air Sood. (pronounced like, ar-yey so-ott). HAHAAH.
its actually in arab/malay. all i know is that air is water.. sood. im not sure. lol
wtf u guys. they found this sticker at the place we were skating
and apparently it says that.
i kinda forgot how the name became mine.
OHYAH. some idiot threw a fucking ice at me.
since ice can be linked with water...go figure.

on a more personal note,
no. nah. no today. :\

listening to: teardrops on my guitat-taylor swift

M.J

2009-06-26T22:44:00.000+08:00

Dear Michael,
you're a legend no one can imitate. Be forever happy in heaven aite.
Da jadi muslim ade chance gi heaven la. :) hehe.
you'll be remembered forever. Peace. we love you.

You all ingat?(remember?) when we were younger, watching michael jackson while trying to imtate his OW!! and his moonwalk? and Free willy too? yeah i remember those days and man they were the good times. Bile part joget thriller sume kekek. kan? hehe.

he is one legend that is selfless and passionate. entertainment is his life and dang he's great at it.

i have twitter^^

2009-06-24T21:05:00.000+08:00

haha G.A.E.C dooods and dudettes. <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_FuQDr2ZED-Q/SkIkyhRZgNI/AAAAAAAAAnE/1yQ0-pi_wTU/s1600-h/b8b7920711d93cb6d565a765502b5c8c.jpg">thanks to the lady named cherine, and deeyana too! ive got a twitter. lulz ^^
my profile name is tiaratequila * winks* hahaha

listening to : part of the list[ne-yo]

headaches

2009-06-22T20:42:00.000+08:00

my very bored,very neutral, very boring smile.
remember it.
okay? i love you. ^^ ahahahahahhaahha. wtf tiara.

tgif

2009-06-19T15:02:00.000+08:00

Thank God Its Friday. ^^

Wide .

2009-06-17T22:39:00.000+08:00

nowadays i have been feeling nothing but restlessness, why so?
this is because i feel dejected and upset about what my mind is doing to me.
this is not good because i tend to sidetrack and be lost again.
i need to draw.

what is Jane to become,?
when what she does is nought but fun.
what does Jane do then
when her life has no plan.
-tiara

currently listening to: hush hush (p.c.d.)

linger

2009-06-14T23:10:00.000+08:00

"its time to fly,fly away" i said.

currently listening to : penny and me by hanson

Light

2009-06-13T02:13:00.000+08:00

school will be starting pretty soon
in less than two days
ive got a gig to attend later on in the evening and im gg to meet Sya and Didee
Fauzi too coz he'll be introducing his label made by him and his other friends called Chaos circus.
im not sure what to wear later. fuck.

My you look great with that shirt,and hat.
But why my dear, that look?Its sad.
You've got to grin or jump or fly.
To make your life, all the more
worthwhile.
-tiara

listening to : Kantoi by Zee Avi (higly recommended) ps. thanks fauzi!

A very wide smile

2009-06-12T03:28:00.000+08:00

"monday u can fall apart
tuesday, wednesday break my heart
thursday doesnt even start.
Its friday im in love" - the cure

in an hours time itll be five in the morning
and my mum would rise
oh how she will yell when she finds me wide eyed and un-rested.
i plan to be alone~
and i feel like i am wasting my first year in rp
doing what im not interested in. fuck fuck.
fuck maths and science.
i know their important and shit.. dont start -.-

currently listening to-careless whisper by seether

Shakira

2009-06-10T01:35:00.000+08:00

another one of those unique voices in the industry
i want to commend on her singing though, its exceptional. * smiles *
i wish to learn how to play the harmonica.
and oh, she is gorgeous here. actually i find her quite beautiful

a 'proper' post

2009-06-08T02:18:00.000+08:00

i had an idea while working just now,
it was a funny idea that im sure some would grin at
but ive forgotten what it is. (note to self, bring some blank paper to scribble on for ideas)
and so i continued working.
while working i sang old songs.
then i thought about relationships and whether i should be in one.
i ended up being somewhat annoyed because i couldnt think of a proper decision.
i see couples coming in the outlet with happy faces.
i served them with a smile and a strained "see you again!"
My 'dreamy' eyes would then drift to the tables to see if there's any rubbish
if there were any id take a damp white cloth to clean it up.
i need to do something else apart from working. * lets out a sigh *

eye to eye

2009-06-03T02:02:00.000+08:00

"i see a skinny little nobody,
with no past, and no future"

talk is cheap

2009-05-27T23:25:00.000+08:00

how quiet, one person, two persons, can be?
when words from mouth is charged by fee.
-tiara

seriously though.
bye.

freeestylin'

2009-05-26T21:09:00.000+08:00

da shizzle yo.
seriously, u got time u watch aite. good.

birthday has come and gone
had such a good time
thanks to E36D., they made my b-day into a good one.! ^^
hoorays,
to balqis for the presents.
and to my two boy buddies for the hugs and kisses

yey

2009-05-20T00:13:00.001+08:00

my buddies. Doraemon is missing. Balqis i mean.
honestly i go to school to see them.
they make me laugh.
The guy with the Fedora and geeky specs is Fuad.
haha, baby huey lah he.
the other guy is Ayieee. the green eyed monster. elle ohh elle.
their fun to be around with. and they treat me like im a guy.
ish. but heck lah. their great.

senyom

2009-05-18T14:14:00.000+08:00

apparently i went my first break with my classmates.*beams*
i am trying to continue this. at least.
we did a ladybug origami in class.
im happy i almost got it right coz the instructions were not suppose to be clear
that sort of thing.
b'day is coming. monday. ^^ joy

persona

2009-05-13T01:52:00.000+08:00

we've never met,not once before
but we've talked, so much, till 4.
it makes one grin, one smile, one feel
how a stranger gives, so much, appeal.
-tiara

it helps to talk to someone new
time and again.
its two a.m. and ive got to rise at six thirty.
*claps*

stronger than moi

2009-05-10T21:58:00.000+08:00

stellar. two thumbs up for the leading lady.

about me

2009-05-09T03:11:00.000+08:00

neither am i sweet nor am i lovely.
neither am i gentle nor am i polite.
i curse like the next annoying girl you see.
i drink like tomorrow wont ever come.
i smoke my life away .
doesnt matter anymore